Friday, January 11, 2008

Futuristic Toilets

Now that the world grows advanced in technology, with advanced robots selling in Toys r' us for 60 bucks, have you ever wondered what will become of toilets? In a world where so much is possible, humanity will grow tired of simple things such as ordinary plumbing and even modest automatic flushers. Also, using the bathroom is a special time, to be cherished and remembered; every time you use he bathroom is unique. That is why I have created the design of my new toilet- the OtOt 1000.


This special design of toilet has a pressure-sensitive seat, so as soon as you sit down, specially built magnetic fibers in the plush seat vibrate, giving a first-class butt massage. A control panel arm moves into position, on which is a touch-screen color menu with which you can select what features to incorporate in your bathroom experience. A high-resolution camera is in position, and can be controlled and moved around with a joystick and control panel with different options, and control zooming. You can also:

  • turn on- and off the butt-massagers (note; the vibrations caused by the butt massagers make the projectile that is being secreted come out faster and cleaner)

  • make a fully working gas mask come out if you dislike the smell

  • select a control that opens a drawer with constipation free pills

  • pour yourself a cup of water, soda, and other customizable fountain drinks (default is coke, Mug root beer, cherry coke, water, sprite, and diet coke)

  • reposition your seat in any possible way

  • select a control that has an arm with a 22" by 14" plasma screen TV with DVD and Blu-ray disk controller , plus cable

  • activate a separate arm with an MP3 player, which can also connect to your ipod
  • turn on a fully operational computer modem with Windows Vista TM or Macintosh.
  • open a drawer with an eye cover, specially designed for comfort

  • play Xbox 360, Wii, or PlayStation 3
  • serve yourself any variety of food that is pre-packed in a built-in freezer
  • and, use the bathroom!

Along with all of these pleasurable things, we can make sure no one will bother you at the same time too! This toilet comes with auto-firing mounted machine guns that fire heavy caliber bullets at a rate of 15 rounds per second. They have motion and infrared sensors to detect enemies lurking at your bathroom door. Also, the bullets are AP rounds, so they should easily punch through your bathroom door or ceiling to get at enemies. You'll never be bothered on the toilet again!

Look for it in your nearest super bathroom store in 5 minutes! Note: Any injuries and/or sicknesses including stomach aches, sore butt cheeks, bullet wounds, shapnel, radiation poisoning, lack of breathable oxygen, and/or accidental and possibly fatal overdose of illegal drugs is not our fault, and therefore is not sueable to us. Neither is any malfunction, death and/or inguries of family members/pets/friends/living things, bullet damage, and/or extreme, and abrupt explosion of toilet. All sales are final.

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